Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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