Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
