Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.