I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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