Can Purell be used as lube?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
