coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
