Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
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I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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