don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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