I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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