remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Come see our sink grown plant.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
