everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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