I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
