I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
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the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
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if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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