look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
