she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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