went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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