I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
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I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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