There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
