Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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