but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
