yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
