If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
