If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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