Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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