____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think your dad took our porno
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize