I think I just saw someone hide a body.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize