Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize