if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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