why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
