Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
