He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
