i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
