woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
