I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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