just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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