Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize