Where is the hickey?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
