just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
