i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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