Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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