I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
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I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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