...so i touched it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
