Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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