HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
