Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize