planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
