No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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