And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
