he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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