1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Acid is not a monday night drug
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
