WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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