some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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