They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
