North Korea, Best Korea!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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