Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
