I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
